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Sunday, September 6th, 2009
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12:08 pm - This morning
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This morning I woke up with only a fraction of the headache left that I had yesterday ALL DAY.
This morning I hit the 'on' button on the coffee maker to make the coffee that was meant to be made yesterday.
This morning I had a fifteen minute conversation with my father on the merits of using the Designed Hitter in the American League.
This morning I discovered either one or both of my cats had unwoven an entire row of work I did on the blanket I am crocheting last night.
This morning my armpits smell like pea soup.
This morning I will go back to Michael's (I will miss this about Queens when we move later this year, northern Brooklyn completely lacks for all of the modern day huge retail stores that southern Queens has to offer.)
This morning my first thought was of not going to work tomorrow.
This morning I regretted being to foul to go out last night.
This morning I did the dishes I could, and left the dishes with too much falafel mix stuck on to soak.
This morning I made a decision about what to do with my bonus that I get next week, and I'm super excited about it. (My waspy background always triumphs when it comes to furniture)
This morning I was woken up around 6am to Daniel storming around swearing on his way out the door for something he forgot to do yesterday. I got out of bed, peed, and tried to solve it for him, only to discover that the Long Island Rail Road wouldn't give a shit about what I think. Well, I knew that all along.
This morning I realized that a year from now a lot of things will be very very different.
I'm excited for those things!
I need my computer fixed, sorely.
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(1 line | make pretty speeches)
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| Monday, July 6th, 2009
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4:08 pm - oh Christ
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I am so irritable it is frightening. I have for years been the person who makes all conaiderstion for others and extends the benefit of the doubt unconditionally. Happily. As of late, I have no fuckin patience and get so angry I start to sweat.
At the smallest things even.
I revel in any opportunity to get pissy or tell someone off, or go on a rant on something, anything, no matter who it offends or annoys.
People on the street and the trains are now the most vile and stupid people on the planet, especially if they do anything to trip me up. This includes but is not limited to:
1 blocking my view of anything at all.
2 walking slow and ambling along
3 taking up too much space on the subway for whatever reason
4 eating something with a strong odor
5 bad makeup
6 stupid shoes
7 talking in anything above a whisper anywhere near me
This list could go on. It shall not.
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(2 lines | make pretty speeches)
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| Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009
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4:36 pm - phone home
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Okk life is ok.
I have gone off of one of my medications, the one that is more of a mood stablizer and helps to keep my wildly outrageous social paranoia under minimal control.
Not getting into grad school has struck a dull pain in my chest and today I have a headache.
I have been so lethargic..... Tired.
Work is just numbing my mind and cramping my style. I feel so lame at my job, and I am realizing that I will never make more money in this field than I have now.
I was really banking on grad school.
Cause germs don't stick on me.
The world is my shellfish and I am its crustacean. Meaning that inside I am full of goo and my poop.
Just about the same anyway.
Agggggh nevermind!
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(4 lines | make pretty speeches)
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| Saturday, June 20th, 2009
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11:50 am - This is a good day.
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My parents and sister come for a visit today, bringing some upstate style to the life of mine.
Dan is now on day jobs, which means he works at like, 5am (a littler earlier or later depending on what day of the week) and gets home by like, three every day (sometimes earlier.)
This is the first time since he started on the LIRR that we see each EVERY day for a respectable amount of time, and its been great.
Jigsaw falling into place.
The cats are good, Queemy smells like the inside of a vacuum cleaner, and Zoe smells like flowers.
Dan and I are pretty sure we are moving to Brooklyn in the fall/winter.
My job is fine.
I didn't get into grad school, mostly because I'm worthless. But also, maybe because I am seeking the wrong thing right now. I am torn between fatalism and cynicism, which I don't think are exactly the same thing. So I am working in accounting. So what. Yeah, I wish that was how I felt. Its cool, though, I work with some amazing people, and I'm lucky for that.
I have met some of the most incredible people on the planet in 2009, which makes for a interesting year already. I feel like my life could end up being a good one, its nice to know people with so much more experience than you. It makes me believe that I do know what matters to me, and I have a good handle on things.
I will be an "Aunt" soon, officially next summer when Dan and I tie the knot. But for now, an Aunt just the same. I AM FUCKING PUMPED.
Babies scare the shit out of me, I went a good decade without ever holding any, and then now, I have a billion babies around me.
....kind of makes me want one, shhhh.....
I bought an amazing synth, the new KorgM50. I started with the 88 key, which I keep at home. It is a BEAUTIFUL machine, worth every penny (a lot of pennies, btw) It is a full workstation , sequencer, which I haven't even cracked the surface of.
I bought the 61 key for the band, cause its only about 20 lbs, and much cheaper to know around. So, I have two. Eat that.
I think livejournal is a good thing to look at sometimes, but how the hell do you look at any friends posts beyond the first page? It doesn't get me very far back, so I have no clue how to navigate this thing! I also realized I haven't logged on, I think, since January of 2008. WTF the internet still exists while I sleep?
Today this morning I woke up and started cleaning, and thought about when I first met Daniel. I'm glad.
I am in the year 2009.
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(2 lines | make pretty speeches)
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| Saturday, January 26th, 2008
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9:10 pm - constant consistance
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Everlasting support of your everlasting loves of your life make for an unending questioning of what the fuck and why. ?
Some days I feign nonchalance, some days I channel some anger and other days I reiterate to myself that it is indeed my own fault and controlling nature that my overbearing and 'bossy' self has nothing to do on most weekends. This is not for lack of initiative.
Part of my modus operandi in dealing with some stuff is to be more social, which would work if ti wasn't for my crippling paranoia and all of the conspiricy theories that I have no doubt on those 'other days' are being brewed hardcore by those around (more said, <i>not</i>) me. Alas, the other point here is the lack of reaching out I feel people make for me (some excluded yes but some not so much) when I've had go-go-gadget arms most of my life for most of the people in it.
What I don't want to do now, I've decided, is the genocide that one particular person (yeah yeah) inflicted on myself and others, though there are those days when I get so angry I want to passive aggressive text! Oh, 21st century! I cannot do this though, no no no. There are people I need to say 'what the fuck?!' to and people I have said 'fuck off' to and people I should say 'I'm fucking sorry' to, and people who should fucking say that to me.
I want changes, I want to feel included and involved and like I'm part of this universe. I want people to just be my friends and not make decisions based on lies and ignorance, I want people to stop talking behind peoples backs all of time and just show face (offices are totally the new high school, wtf) and I want us all to get along.
Work is so stressful sometimes because I feel like I'm caught between two trenches of armies that I feel an allegience with. I want to watch Band of Brothers, any takers?
On this saturday I did laundry and cleaned my apartment again. It was already pretty clean, I just have lots of unused energy I can't use. I can't use it to paint because I'm not a painter, I can't use it to sew because I'm not a seamstress and I can't play/write any music because I don't have a synth.
But these are my weekends. And I am fucking lonely. Not as lonely as Dave, what will ever help him!?
Speaking of, I saw 27 Dresses last night and I can't believe how much I loved loved loved it. And there were no gay jokes! (No representation either if my memory serves me, so low points there anyway) Katherine Heigel (whatever however) is creepy for me to watch for personal reasons, but I can't help but love her........... for those same, personal reasons.
Some things can't be on the internets, cause, you know, space age and all, so I can't quite express here my level of anticipation for some big changes I am brewing up! If these can be made internet friendly, by golly, you'll know them then.
I have two cats
two cats are better than one cat, odie on deuce on day! - song by Daniel <3
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(make pretty speeches)
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| Tuesday, January 15th, 2008
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4:23 pm - Clip hum snap snap pull drag
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This last week (meaning from friday I guess to today, tuesday; so the last few days really.) I've been feeling (with small moments of exception) like everything is great and I am in complete control of myself. I've gone to the gym already a few times this week, I've been consistantly focused at work, worked hard all day and I even stayed at work until almost 8 fucking 30 on friday. Friday, this is what I do with my night.
These feelings of self-sufficiency have done nothing for the extreme social paranoia I constatnly suffer from.
I understand that people around me deserve in no way to be held accountable for my actions and feelings, but I forget that sometimes.
There are a handful of people that I feel right now (meaning at fleeting moments throughout the day) are directly responsible for making me feel horrible. I know that I should really try to leave the high school in high school, but my complete lack of confidence in myself really makes me feel like no one wants to be around my obnoxious misery.
I think I'm oozing like controlling, hateful vibes right now, and that its mostly not very pleasant to be around.
But my undstanding that posssibility doesn't completely dismiss the feelings that I'm being hardcore avoided by some or all or none I don't know.
Usually when I get home at night I get overwhelmingly and almost unspeakably sad and depressed. That hasn't happened since last week, knock on wood.
I wanted to go to the gym again tonight, but going back again so hardcore and so quickly ahs really worn me out, so I'm taking the night off, anyway Dan is off tonight and its time I could just be spending with his ass instead of waiting in line for an eliptical machine like you do on a weeknight.
Daniel and I are going to San Deigo for a week in April, I've never been to California, and I hear San Diego is a good place to start if you want a humungous health food store and beautiful beaches and views and none of the Hollywood. I don't think I could handle the celeb-ness right now, NY is even too much lately.
I've even taken a break from Perez, whom I love dearly, cause I just can't get into it.
HOwever, I have picked up the slack there with the LOLCATs because they are the most important thing in life right now.
I saw Jaime A Kurtz over the weekend, for the first fuckin time since like May and it was a dream and a half. Although (no offense James) I usually like any activity that involves my favorite bagel place.
I feel kinda queasy. Maybe I should have taken to day off today, I feel really drained from all of this positive thinking
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(1 line | make pretty speeches)
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| Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008
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4:08 pm - And the way they make me feel is way too real to believe
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2008! At dinner on New Years Eve I was asked (as well as my friends at dinner) to rate 2007 with one number, from 1-10.
I really thought about it hard, and honestly came up with a 5. When I told this to Daniel it made him very upset, he was like; "Really?! I would say like a 8!" and he got a little miffed and I almost grabbed him and shook him to scream "YOU MORON YOU ARE LIKE 50% OF THE REASON ITS THAT LOW!"
Maybe even more of the percent, really.
So in line with that kind of retrospect, I am looking back over the year, and not exactly rating 2007, cause 2007 can't help it, it can't help what happened to me, or to anyone else.
Instead, I'll rate my behavior this last year, and consider any improvements I might have made in either way.
At this time, I would like to point out that I am in fact, including in my consideration, the "What I Should Have Said" segment, which I know is a big hit.
My new (yes, new, so lets be hesistant) psychaitrist (spell? eh whatevs) is telling me that I am (mildly) bi-polar depressive (moderately). As much as the reckless abandon in me (which can be a large part rest assured) wants to throw my arms in the air and give in to such a diagnosis and therefore sign away all responsibilty for myself, the better parts of me are displaying some reluctance.
And lets be clear that I am not entirely in agreement with the terminology/diagnosis whatever, and I am continuing to court the idea of actually filling the Rx I was given. Yeah its been like two weeks and I didn't do that.
I can definitely see the traits/symptoms whatever in myself, sometimes subtly sometimes not so much, and I'm told by others that its right on the money, but I just can't believe it.
I know that when I was researching my first anti-depressant of the year, Wellbutrin (which I took breifly in college and it worked quite well) I discovered that Wellbutrin can spring forth any latent, dormant whatever bi-polar tendancies and make them split right out on the surface if they are there, which is right about when my terrifying and irrational behavior started. I won't even go there.
Unfortunately for me, this time aligns perfectly with some major shit going down in my life, (thanks a lot) so its pretty hard to gage what is/was really going on. Again, I am not so eager to embrace these psych-ie suggestions.
Soooo I will say that my behavior this year has left a lot to be desired in many aspects.
Yay 2007.
Needless to say, as I told Jennie a little bit ago, I'm mostly afraid of taking the meds because I'm terrified that they might work. Which would mean that I need them. Which would mean that yes, I am mildly or moderately or anythingly bi-polar. NO body wants that, Am I right?
I started a painting last week, for the first time in like 1 1/2 to 2 years, and now I'm too scared of it being bad to go back to painting at it. Although I know it won't be terrible.
None of that seems to matter to crAZy Amanda though.
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(make pretty speeches)
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| Sunday, December 16th, 2007
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8:40 pm - How long have I got?
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are Dr's that capable of having answers so readily? Is this a diagnosis or just some off-handed way to keep me out of her office until the next visit? I'm scared. I'm glad I have friends and Daniel
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(1 line | make pretty speeches)
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| Thursday, December 13th, 2007
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10:24 am - How easy it is to fail! Hooray!
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Today I'm trying all over again and starting with a psychiatrist (sp?)
Something in my life/body/brain has to change and since I can't seem to summon the will or energy to do it alone, (what a surprise! lazy asshole) and my last meds were a joke and didn't work, lets take three now in the last 6 months.
For the love of it.
I feel, metaphorically, like I've lost about forty pounds since I took some steps I never thought I could take. I love the feeling of justification and richteousness, even at this cost.. .. misrepresentation is infuriating and is driving me crazy (this clearly has not helped my mental state and need for chemical intervention in any way. If I were less of a person, I would blame every single bit of my recent (being the last handful of months) meltdowns on you)
I am not crazy, and if I were more religious or fanatacial I would make some sort of statement about final judgements/sonte casting what have you. Since I'm not, I'll just say that liars get found out, motherfucker.
So I'm apprehensive about this appointment (which is cross town, and going to be a pain in the tit to get to),
"failure the grasp that the time was now if she was ever to recover vitality"
and I kind of hate taking a bus I've never taken for the first time. Although I do enjoy a nice bus ride past Bruno Raviolis on 1sr ave with Kristine and probably Dave.
Ah Bruno, can you encompass a racial stereotype with any more grace than you do? I think not.
I have a lot of work to do at work, and have been trying to work late, but being so busy outside of work this week, its been hard.
I miss a lot of people, but I'm shocked at the number of times lately I've stopped dead in my tracks and an enromous shit eating grin takes ove rmy face when I think about my life with Daniel. After all the friggin sketchy waters there I'm amazed at now. That is one thing that (against all odds of my former self and reliance on friends) that has been holding it together for me lately, that mutual devotion.
I have a lot of drama at work, Ima beinga driven acrazzy
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(make pretty speeches)
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| Thursday, November 15th, 2007
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12:57 pm - My dreams this morning
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I think that close to 85% of my dreams are about animals in some way.
This morning I had a dream that I returned to the US Virgin Islands, (where I recently went on vacation) and suddenly I was paddling (or maybe walking on ground) along like, a small river. First I started to see very large swans, which to me looked like Mute Swans (snowey white with orange beaks and feet).
They were enormous. I search for swans in Dreams and came up with this
Swan
To see a swan in a lake or pond, is a good omen, signaling a future of prestige and wealth. Swans are symbolic of grace, beauty, and dignity.
And in the distance there was a large city, and walking toward the city through the trees was a Yeti (or maybe larger, but I remember thinking it was Big foot in my dream) sized what I think was a Pelican. It was very slow, and quiet. And I was not afraid.
Pelican
To see a pelican in your dream, represents nurturance and caring for others
Yeti
To see a yeti in your dream, suggests that you need to learn to find balance between your reasonable, rational side and your emotional, instinctual nature.
And since these birds were strange, anad large I found this as well
To see deformed or odd birds in your dream, indicates that you have a unique outlook and perspective on romance and love. The dream may also represent a lack of understanding in affairs of the heart.
I think that these things are all very relavent in my life right now, though I am not seeing affairs of the heart to mean love between a couple, I am more thinking about friends/not?/etc.
Before I had that dream I woke only once, breifly this morning. I remember having some outrageously angry thoughts and feelings before falling asleep, kinda like that 'what I should have said monologue' that we all get sometimes. It was nice because in this dream I felt so at piece. I was with Alicia Miller. Of course I felt good.
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(1 line | make pretty speeches)
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| Tuesday, November 13th, 2007
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2:17 pm - Look, will you, at what the cat dragged in?
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Buckling (yes I just said that) down at work, working late a lot of nights now and getting everything down efficiently and in a timely manner.
Uh oh.
Grad school plans are approaching, and I have never felt less confident in myself. I'm so used to making possibly the wrong decisions and then turning on them that I'm not sure if I should follow what my heart says now, or like, wait a few months and see what happens.
Someone do this for me, mmm'k?
I'm working really hard to get my finances in order, which is impossible being that my finances are so entirely laughable.
Daniel and I are also trying to finish the apartment we've lived in for a year now. However, its impossible because we have so little time together that isn't right before bed or when I wake up in the mornings that we will never get anything done.
I saw Alicia Miller and Nick the Tata this weekend, and that made my life so full of love and hearts. I wish something.
There are some things I need to do.
My brain is fine for now. I mean, like the pictures.
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(make pretty speeches)
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| Wednesday, August 29th, 2007
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11:14 am - Let's get it pumpin
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My stomach has been painful lately, and last night I actually had to throw up from nausea. My life is kind of falling apart (those of you in my life know that I'm not just being dramatic) and I'm not sure what to even think about it.
My knees are actually weak.
Having no idea what will become of me this day forward is not the most settling thing in the world, I mean to say, there are worse things than the things in my life right now, but from my end, and the relavancy here, its still all bugaboo. I don't want anything else but what I have now, and its not a very good feeling having no control.
On a lighter note (literally) I've lost a little weight, the weight I namedly gained after moving in with Daniel and the two of us constantly splurging with food when we first lived together (his treat, thank you Daniel) and then having a job where I don't walk around a lot because I'm chained to this desk and printer, forever churning out SOX approved paperwork.
So I'm excited about that, I was feeling bad about myself not fitting into some of my pants and dresses as well, and now I'm sorta fitting. If you know about my life, you know I can't exactly afford to just go buy new things that fit better.
Hobolife 2K7. For reals.
help help help
seriously wtf
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(3 lines | make pretty speeches)
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| Friday, August 17th, 2007
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1:19 pm - This moon is pulling ripping us to pieces
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It seems that just about everyone close to me (not discounting myself) is facing some sort of life change, or struggle, or challenge to their mental stability, actually, mostly all of the above, for everyone.
What is causing this instability? And is it an instability that is reckoned for indiviuals, sure, but what if its a general constant through out a general grouping? Is it a stabile dependency then? What causes the flucuation, if not? And shouldn't it all add up? I'm confused, but not finding any comfort in the fact that I'm not alone with this.
Instead, I am anguished by seeing people I love be in pain, or question themselves in such grand ways. And then, that is compounded by my own (further, multiple, numerous etc?..) frustration with my feelings of inadequacey and listlessness. What a time to be in your mid twenties, which apparently means that life is shit.
And without going too deep, since when does mid twenties mean act like you're a fucking teenager? Ridiculous. Put my thing down, flip it and reverse it, and I've made my own choice, so I'm content.
I like that in my later years I am able to rationalize and handle just about anything I need to, especially unforseen disasters within your heart. I like having my own hand on things, and this is no exception. No, I mean, again, no, not either. I can also see that I am not the problem in general, and here in particular, with this one catalyst as the constant obstacle to my mental health, and being pretty much the reason I ever went on anti-depressants in college. Its not blame, but it is true.
If I had an address book, I would have written in pencil, and I would be brushing eraser rubber dust off the pages, right about now.
And at the same time, its funny how other people show back up in life, at moments you least expect them. And that, all the way, is great.
Its actually the balance between the ridiculously fabulous thats going on right now versus the horribly ridiuclous. Confusion, I can depend on you.
I am going to the library with Anoop now, because he is my SF!
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(make pretty speeches)
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| Friday, August 3rd, 2007
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12:07 pm
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For now, its still totally 2007.
Totes.
My brother and Sarah officially got married and am officially having a new family member. Burr girls are growing in numbers. Patience, my pretties, our time will come.
It was a flarging beautiful wedding, I have never seen such a sight. It was in a garden at this old Mansion in Canadaigua, NY. Like Yaddo, but bigger. Gorgeous and beautiful, classic and such. I am busting with happiness and I am super excited for things to come.
Besides the wedding my life remains the same, save the sunburn I got at my parents house.
Letterman was doing some weird segment yesterday, and they had all these straws/tubes going across Broadway (I work on the block next to the Ed Sullivan Theater) and into the studio from Jamba Juice. I forgot to watch it, but I saw the juice going through the straws and laughed, and wished that David Letterman could be the President.
The day before, I was walking over to 8th on 53 to go to my favorite place to grab lunch (an amazing Health food store with all the beauty and love in the world) and thats where the stage enterance is to Letterman, and all this papparazi was outside because Matt Damon was going in. There were all these young girls lined up excited and shaking. I guess he must have been getting out while I walked by cause everyone was going nuts, but I couldn't see through the people, and I don't give a shit about Matt Damon.
But the proximity to DL makes me happier than most things, cause I love me him.
These are the things that come to mind when I decide to update, apologies all around.
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(make pretty speeches)
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| Wednesday, August 1st, 2007
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6:00 pm
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I think it to be so. Oooo shit girl. Clarifying, defining moments abound. Lets try not to make it 2003 again, hmmm?
sickness/storms.
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| Friday, July 20th, 2007
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6:57 pm
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Fine.
Think whatever you want; you can eat my foot sweat on fucking toast. Nevermind that I've had a stomach ache for the last month over all this. But still, I probably am horrible.
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(make pretty speeches)
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| Thursday, July 19th, 2007
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10:19 am - Theres things, and then there's thing's.
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Anoop's music makes me happy today.
We moved offices (again) and now I am back up on the 9th floor with the rest of the company, and our department is once again the full on bastard children of Manning. Its nice to matter.
Cynthia Nixon was in the conference room when I went to get coffee, with some old guy. Sometimes, thats how my job looks.
My brother and Sarah's wedding is next weekend, it is coming up so fast. I found a different dress; this one is actually more Amanda friendly. Its black and white vertical stripes, about a centimeter across (naturally, whats my name?) and its a handmade vintage house dress, with a full skirt and everything. June Cleaver.
Exactly the look I wanted to for this day garden wedding.
It has a big white collar, and big white cuffs on the sleeves. The original buttons are still on the chest, a bit faded, but its a nice look.
Danny dropped it off at the cleaners for me yesterday, and then I have to repair one tiny little seam.
It fits like a dream, and in this dream I am happy.
I can't wait for Heather and Ryan to get back from across the pond.
I wish my life was more exciting, but I usually prefer sitting down.
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(make pretty speeches)
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| Monday, July 16th, 2007
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4:46 pm - My view on the Potts
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I saw "Order of the Phoenix" last night, and I liked it.
Theres my view.
Someone call Barbara and get me on there.
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(make pretty speeches)
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| Monday, July 9th, 2007
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2:50 pm - Vacancy
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Work today is a horrible drama filled mess that gave me a pretty bad headache.
Tonight who knows what my life will be like, and like, what like what.
I finally bought a dress for my Alex and Sarah's wedding, huzzah! My mother did come to visit and we went shopping.
On saturday morning, Daniel's 24 year old brother had a heart attack. A fucking heart attack. He is 24, fuck.
He is ok. What the fuck.
He gets to home tonight after spending the weekend in the hospital. Terrifying.
I am worried about Danny.
That kid needs to learn how to dry swallow a big fucking chill pill, for reals, cause that kid can't escape the drama sometimes. I really don't get people who have no grey area when it comes to reaction and dealing and feelind and wheelin, poppin wheelies
po po zao
and shit,
but with Danny, there is no such thing as calm, he is either off, or freaked out, he can't handle anything. Its hard for me to remember how much of this is my responsibilty (ok, none) when it comes to how I treat him. As in, how far do I have to go in censoring myself to speak to him, espeically when talking to him is shitty because he has no filter sometimes, like a shitty old Britta.
I need a big black bar for his fuckin mouth sometimes, damn boy.
He's so worked up over everything.
People reading this should actually know that I'm not referring to anything in particular, or even in general, I'm just thinking about how even the wind blowing makes him all stressed and I worry about him.
Espeically now with this with Paulie happening, mother fucking mother fucker.
ah fgjhdfkgjhd
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(2 lines | make pretty speeches)
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| Thursday, July 5th, 2007
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11:45 am - Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow
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I burned myself last week on grits, both of my hands were red and it sucks. And thats all I have to say about that.
I cut my hair (well, actually Jason cut it, but I authorized it). Its shorter now, kinda a revisit to an earlier haircut I had. I'm super.
I'm awesome.
I thought I would be updating a lot more with this new idea about remembering my life, but now I realize that the only time I spend any considerable length of my life in front of the computer is at work, when I'm super busy, and never have time to do this.
I shouldn't even be doing this now, but sometimes I need to prioritize.
I am looking for dresses for Alex and Sarah's wedding online, and found a handful that I LOVE, but then I am also thinking, 'why am I looking online, hello I live in friggin New York...' so maybe my mother and I will go shopping this weekend, if she comes. I am perpetually trying to organize someone to be around me. I don't like lonliness.
So some things in my life are fabulous, some things are the same as they ever were, and a few things suck famously. Such is life, so it goes and a few other verbages we would all rather never hear again.
I have made the absolute choice and decision now, with finality, that next fall I will be in Grad school, hopefully Hunter, in thier highly Competitive Social Work program. I will most likely not get into this program considering how competitive it actually it, and how small it is, but I'm hoping my work at Battered Women's Services will help, cause my fucking Bachelor's degrees fucking won't. Thank's a lot, you two.
That will definitely smart.
Here is a list of the stuffed animals I have with me in the office
1 - black doggy Lisa gave me for my birthday years ago
2 - skunk puppet that Joe and Adri gave me
3 - Little baby penguin that Danny bought me at the aquarium on Memorial Day (named Paco)
All of these creature are basically black and white. He'sa.
Yesterday I went to Daniel's parents house for a BBQ (July 4) while Dan was at work. I ate a lot of delicious things there, cause his parents take good care of me. And like the Italian mother she is, Dan's mother, Barb, perpetually tried to feed me, and I couldn't finish everything and got a tummy ache. My favorite kind of stomach ache is the yummy kind. A Yummy ache.
So I ate a lot, got drunk off a few different wines, and listened. I had a blast. I have never just gone over to Dan's parents on my own, yesterday was the first time, and I'm glad I went! I have to go again on sunday for Dan's cousin's shower, and yippeee!
I was sick last weekend, and did next to nothing, save organizing my mp3s and going to the gym both days.
This weekend? Better?
I love you all!
DAWN I got your letter and am writing back!
*** soon I think I will be reexamining my spirituality. Stay.
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(2 lines | make pretty speeches)
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coldness_cooled's journal